After class on Monday, the question that I kept thinking about was "How should we as teachers present ourselves to our students?" and "Where do we draw the line of appropriate and inappropriate personal relationships with students?". I know that there are obvious inappropriate relationships with students that we have all seen on the news, but I am talking about simple personal connections we make with our students. Where is the line that we become "too personally connected" with our students. We were talking about how many of us had teachers that confided things in us, and I got to thinking about whether or not this is inappropriate and I can't seem to come up with a good answer. On the one hand, it seems like a great concept to show our "humanness" to our students (that we have problems, successes, failures, etc. just like they do) but on the other hand, it seems like we still need to remain professional and role models for our students. There is a definite conflict here...about where the line is. I think the best answer I could get to on my own is that we should tell our students about our successes, failures, frustrations (to some extent) but not divulge all personal information. Like it or not, we are still professionals providing a service. You would not expect your doctor to confide in you about his/her relationship with his/her spouse or any other truly personal information.
posted by Caroline @ 6:51 PM
3 Comments:
I think that there's a difference between the kind of professional a doctor is and the kind of professional a teacher is. I think this because this is an innate personal connectiong between teacher and student that just may not happen between you and another professional such as a doctor. I think there is a fine line that should be drawn about how far is too far with personal information. But I also think that it's the personal stuff that helps your students learn about you as well. Only you know how far is too far with certain students. And if you have any doubt then don't continue sharing that information. I feel that if you expect your students to tell you about themselves then you should be open to tell them about yourself. I don't think there's one answer for how far you should go into your personal life with your students, because each situation is a little different. But when you're trying to decide if you should divulge a certain piece of information, then think if you would want to know that about your teachers when you were younger, and how that would have changed your view of them. Everything in this issue is circumstantial.
Just wanted to also add that if you go to a doctor for many years then you do get onto a personal level with them. The difference is only that if you meet them once for one day that you cannot create a relationship. It is time that creates relationships with other human beings. It is impossible to stop that from happening because we are all human. No matter who we are. Not only doctors but think of the last time you got your hair cut by the person who always cuts it...they know about you and vice versa. Its just human nature. Obviously dont devulge everything, but a little bit of life should show through because if it didnt we would not be human beings.
This is definitely something I struggle with. I know that it is important to have the differentiation in the classroom between friend and teacher- although it is something I find to be difficult to moderate. It is part of our innate desire to be personal with people that we are around a great deal. But, without this distinction- there may be a lack of respect, because students that percieve you as "one of them" will have difficulty listening to the teacher when the teacher is being serious. I know this because it is something that I had difficulty with when I was in high school. The teachers in the music department were wonderful, and I was very close with them all. They knew all about my life, my personal life, etc. and I knew a fair bit about them as well. However, when it came time for the teacher to put on their "teacher face"- to either give orders or discipline the class, I had a difficult time at that age taking them seriously when they just finished talking with me as if I were their equal. Students at this age level, and younger have a hard time knowing and realizing that there is a difference between these two roles as a teacher. Once you show them your face as someone who is too personal, the student will start to view you in a different light because they no longer percieve you as their elder, but as their equal. This has many implications that really could be detremental to the student-teacher relationship and classroom environment. I know that part of CPME is to not view yourself as the all-knowing mighty teacher, but I would also like to point out that all of our teachers (FA, Schmidt, Jenkins, McBride) have all shown us a human side while maintaining a composure that is professional and contextually appropriate. I htink the key thing to remember here, like Caroline brought up, is that there are certain appropriate ways to conduct yourself with a student and other ways which arent. Some information is too personal and inappropriate. I think one way of judging whether or not something is appropriate or not would be to think of what you would say or how you would act if that student were your grandmother or mother. If you would blush or feel embarrassed in front of them, chances are you shouldnt be that way with your students. Part of me is joking when I make this comparison, but part of me is serious. As much as it is important to be ourselves, and show our personality and humanness to our students- there are certain aspects of humanness and personality that have a time and a place, and the classroom is not it.
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